he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
