I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
