I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
