Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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