how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I believe in your delicious
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
