dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
