508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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