I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
