So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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