His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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