hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
