i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
