Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
