Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize