I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
