One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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