i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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