I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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