So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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