and you said cock pushups were impossible
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize