His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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