i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
