allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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