i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
