I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
