Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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