ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
