i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
