If that was your dad, he is hot
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
