Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
