I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
