shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
