I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize