I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
