i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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