his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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