"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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