i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
