Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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