If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
