I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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