so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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