Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
