don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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