So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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