I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
