We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
