I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize