Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
