im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
