So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
