belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
