All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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