We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
