Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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