I am full of burrito and curiosity
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
