And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You work out of a Hotel?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
